Archive for the 'News' Category

19
Jan

The 6 Most Bizarre Global Warming Side Effects: Part 1

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All right, it appears the world has moved past the “is global warming happening” stage and has now moved onto, “how screwed are we?”

But what is interesting is just how wide-ranging the effects will be, far beyond the normal “it will get really hot” and “the hippies will be really smug” we all have been expecting. Here are some of the effects you probably never saw coming…

#6. The Boozeacalypse

For most of us, the best part of our day is spending time with loved ones. For the rest, it’s drowning reality in a pool of sweet, brain-clouding liquors. Unfortunately, reality doesn’t want to be drowned and global warming is looking to make it harder to accomplish that goal in the future, as it’s predicted higher temperatures are going to lead to either outright shortages, or at least pricier, lower quality booze.

Once again, Billy Carter proves to be ahead of his time.

The problem for beer is malting barley. As climates become drier in areas where barley is grown, it could cause a disruption in beer production as crops either have to be moved to more hospitable grounds or brewers have to adapt to different varieties of barley which could lead to dreaded ass-flavored beer (as in, there’s a reason those other varieties aren’t used now).

For those who like to get a fancier drunk on, the wine industry also faces some changes thanks to global warming, as many wines are region specific and as the climate changes, so too do the way grapes grow and ripen. Some climatologists predict that by 2050 it will be almost impossible to grow grapes throughout large portions of Italy, Australia, California and France. Those last two would be known as “the places where most of the good wine comes from.”

A desperate world will have to turn to the Red Sox for quality wine.

The effect on wine tastings and assorted douchebaggery could be devastating, forcing countless people who wear berets and eat room temperature cheese to wander aimlessly from art gallery to art gallery completely sober. Instead, they may be driven to…

#5. More Potent heroin

If you were hoping there was an upside to global warming then you’re in for a treat. Unless you don’t want to develop a crippling addiction to heroin, in which case this may be another downside.

According to the USDA, who spend their days ankle-deep in opium dens, rising CO2 levels are making opium poppies more potent. Apparently back in the day grandpa was just coasting on the weak shit. Poppies grown today produce twice as many narcotic compounds as those from 1950.

The prediction is for levels to triple by 2050 and by 4.5 times more potent by 2090. This obviously has a huge impact on the world’s rock stars, whose lifestyle depends on the substance. Either rock stars will face extinction by 2100, or else natural selection will give us an entirely new species of heroin-resistant musicians.

She’s a hardy breed.

Curiously, the opposite effect happens in tobacco plants, that lose nicotine and other compounds with the increase of CO2, which we assume means cigarette companies are going to have to supplement smokes with heroin in the future. That makes sense, right?

#4. The Death of Vegas

Las Vegas is a great place to ruin your life with debt or VD and people flock to do just that each and every year. Unfortunately, this utopia of despair is facing a silent threat most people beyond city planners never stopped to consider: Las Vegas is in the desert.

You know what would really bring this place together? Casinos and whores.

When the desert gets warmer, water becomes more scarce and officially Vegas is in a sticky spot as water levels in Lake Mead continue to drop with each passing year. And legally, the city will be required to find an alternative water source if water levels drop another 17 feet as that will drop the level below the existing intake pipes.

And the sign will get all dusty and no one wants that.

The city spent $800 million to build a new pipeline deeper into the lake but if levels keep dropping that won’t help; some predictions have Lake Mead disappearing by 2021. The effect spreads much further than Vegas (up to 36 million people would be affected) but Vegas is in an extra precarious position since, you know, the desert thing. If the worst case scenario plays out (and it’s looking likely) not even all the tears shed in Vegas by bankrupt fathers and exploited showgirls will be able to keep lawns green.

16
Nov

Bugatti Veyron Goes Swimming in Texas

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The driver was distracted by a low-flying pelican, dropped his cell phone, and drove into the lake. What a jackass. Apparently, the quad-turbo W16 ran for 15 minutes before it died, which seems like long enough to make sure every vital engine component got trashed, and begs the question as to why the owner didn’t kill it on his way out of the cabin. Hey, at least it wasn’t an Enzo—they still make Veyrons. Watch the clip below to see this 1.6 million dollar machine getting towed out of the drink.

22
Jun

Seoul’s Incheon International Airport

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Seoul’s Incheon International Airport has been named the world’s best in the annual World Airport Awards.

Incheon beat out last year’s winner, Hong Kong International, which fell to second place. Singapore’s Changi came third.

Australia’s airports were nowhere to be seen in the top rankings, with Auckland named the best airport in the Australasia/Pacific region, coming in at number 10 over all. Brisbane and Melbourne were named the second and third best airports in the region.

Asian airports dominated the awards, with seven of the nine service awards going to airports from the region.

Skytrax CEO Edward Plaisted congratulated Incheon on winning the award, which is based on surveys conducted with 8.6 million air passengers, covering more than 190 airports worldwide.

Incheon is an airport that has been in the global top five ranking for the World Airport Awards during the past five to six years, and it is a great achievement for them to secure this premier mark of customer satisfaction.”

The survey evaluates traveller experiences across 39 different airport service and product factors – from check-in, arrivals, transfer through to departure at the gate.

WORLD’S TOP 10 AIRPORTS

  1. Incheon International Airport
  2. Hong Kong International Airport
  3. Singapore Changi
  4. Zurich
  5. Munich
  6. Kansai
  7. Kuala Lumpur
  8. Amsterdam
  9. Centrair Nagoya
  10. Auckland

BEST BY REGION

  • AFRICA
    Cape Town
  • ASIA
    Incheon Int’l
  • AUSTRALIA/PACIFIC
    Auckland
  • EUROPE
    Zurich
  • MIDDLE EAST
    Tel Aviv
  • NORTH AMERICA
    Dallas/Fort Worth
  • SOUTH AMERICA
    Lima
  • CENTRAL AMERICA
    Panama

BEST IN CATEGORY

  • BEST DUTY FREE SHOPPING
    Dubai
  • EASIEST INTERNATIONAL TRANSIT AIRPORT
    Incheon International
  • BEST AIRPORT DINING
    Hong Kong
  • BEST SECURITY PROCESSING
    Incheon International
  • CLEANEST AIRPORT WASHROOMS
    Kansai
  • BEST TERMINAL CLEANLINESS
    Incheon International
  • BEST BAGGAGE DELIVERY
    Helsinki
  • BEST LEISURE AMENITIES
    Singapore
  • BEST IMMIGRATION SERVICE
    Kuala Lumpur
03
Jun

World Beard and Moustache Championships

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The United States is the world’s new facial hair super power, having captured twelve world championship titles out of eighteen categories plus overall at the World Beard and Moustache Championships in Anchorage, Alaska on May 23, 2009. Possessing home field advantage, the USA was able to dethrone Germany which had dominated this competition since its inception.

Hometown favorite and Beard Team USA member David Traver was crowned overall champ, having styled his beard to resemble an Alaska snowshoe which earned him top honors in the freestle full beard category. Meanwhile Germany’s Karl-Heinz Hille’s elaborate moustache earned him second. San Franciscan Jack Passion placed third with his long, red natural beard.

Nearly 300 competitors from 15 separate countries competed. All of the winners received engraved Alaska gold pans as trophies.

Germany came in second taking first-place honors in five categories. Other countries represented on the podium were England, the Netherlands, Belgium, Italy, Switzerland, and newcomer Canada.

The big winner was also the vice-president of the host organization, the South Central Alaska Beard and Moustache Club, which pulled out all of the stops to make to make the WBMC 2009 the biggest and best ever.

THE WINNERS! 

world beard championchips

David Traver
Anchorage, Alaska
world beard championchips

Jack Passion
San Francisco, California
world beard championchips

Karl-Heinz Hille
Berlin, Germany

18
Dec

Turkey: 8-year-old locks himself in metal safe

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stanbul

A little boy in Turkey survived several hours locked in a metal safe.
The eight-year-old says he was playing with friends when he climbed in.

The door shut and locked.

stanbul

Police and firemen rushed to the rescue, first drilling a hole for the boy to breathe, then working on getting him out.

Doctors say the boy is doing just fine.

stanbul